Brain Stinking Ninjas

Today, all I find myself contemplating beneath the healthy glow of florescent lights are the Brain Stinking Ninjas.

Background: Brain Stinking Ninjas are thoughts of the most awkward, immature, and embarrassing actions I could take at any given moment. These thoughts usually occur when I am nervous, bored, excited, or breathing.

Just a few of the Brain Stinking Ninjas I did NOT act on:
  • 7:30 am- I REALIZE I WON'T TEACH HISTORY FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS: Get the urge to run screaming "The British are Coming!" up and down the school hallway.
  • 7:45 am- HUNGER GAMES SOUNDTRACK COMES UP ON ITUNES: Social Experiment: Begin "Hunger Games" of throwing pies in my classes. Pie in face = "dead". Survivor wins an A.
  • 8:00 am- STUDENTS ARRIVE: Pat each student on the head repeating "Aw, sweet heart, you can't help it."
  • 8:30 am- LEARNING ABOUT CARBON FOOTPRINTS: Begin game of tag with socks representing carbon footprints. Tags must be in the face to explain how carbon emissions make the Earth stinky.
  • 9:00 am- LEARNING ABOUT SALIVARY GLANDS: Slobber runs down my chin for however long it takes for students to notice.
  • 9:30 am- STUDENT COMMENTS ON THE FACT THAT THE EYE "SEES" UPSIDE-DOWN: Flip all desks and chairs upside-down and require students to "sit properly."
  • 10:00 am- STUDENT COMMENTS ON DRY ICE: "Ice skate" through the classroom instead of walking. Triple axle included.
  • 10:30 am- STUDENT MAKES BITING FACES: Run into class with kool-aid powder stains on my hands and face while acting like a zombie. Take bite of nearest student arm. 
  • 11:00 am- STUDENT COMPLAINS OF HUNGER: Teach biology by eating gummy worms, spitting remains back into a bowl and asking students to eat all of their lunch.
Just a few Brain Stinking Ninjas I DID act on:
  •  7:15 am- I THINK "PLANETS ORBIT": Spin down hallway to imitate rotation and revolution of planet Katelin around the Sun. 
  • 7:40 am- I THINK, "I AM A BROADWAY SENSATION TODAY": Sing loudly as possible along to Les Mis. soundtrack.
  • 8:10 am- STUDENTS LOOK ASLEEP: speak with deep southern accent for the duration of class. 
  • 9:15 am- LEARNING ABOUT SALIVARY GLANDS: I challenge myself to keep my tongue at the back of my teeth for 5 min.
  • 9:32 am- STUDENT COMMENTS ON THE FACT THAT THE EYE "SEES" UPSIDE-DOWN:Jokingly turn glasses upside-down to see if there was a difference.
  • 11:05 am-  STUDENT COMPLAINS OF HUNGER: Speak to stomach, "You will survive. I promise. Don't cry."
Brain Sinking Ninjas: The reason I am the way I am.

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